Aqua Teens Shake It Up

Dana Snyder, the voice of Master Shake, raises red carpet hell at Tuesday's premiere of Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters (Photo: WireImage)

By John Lichman

To explain the allure of Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters is to discuss why you'd want to spend 87 minutes watching a shake, a wad of meat and a pack of fries meet a time traveling Abraham Lincoln, pixilated moon men and a piece of fried chicken (voiced by B-movie icon Bruce Campbell.) But still, The Reeler tried to get an explanation from Aqua Teen's directors/writers/actors/creators Dave Willis and Matt Maiellaro at the New York premiere last night.

"We really set the tone for four-year olds," Willis said when asked about the film's twisted introduction, a take on the old concession stand previews by Canadian doom-metal band Mastodon. "We're hoping Disney will be interested in picking it up," Maiellaro said.

Of course, they're kidding. ATHF is as anti-conformity and weird as the other shows produced by Williams Street for Adult Swim, the most famous alum being Space Ghost:Coast to Coast, which originally spawned (and killed) the Aqua Teens. And if you're not in on the joke, then you may as well give up now. Of course, the joke makes it a little hard to get a straight answer from the guys, but the cultural implications of a gigantic poodle exploding after a sentient milk shake tosses it into the air aren't especially important. The film is the closest thing that the TV series will ever get to an "origin" story; as a matter of fact, one involves a Tina Fey cameo that will have you simply staring at the screen.

"We just have this motto," Willis said, "which is 'none of this matters' and we live by that."

Later, during the premiere after party at Pop Burger, The Reeler effectively hid at the bar with ScreenGrab's own Impaler, Vadim Rizov, whose only contribution was grumbling, "Woman of damnation, bring me my hot dog." Shortly afterward, we were thrust into a tiny booth showing '80s porn with Dana Snyder, voice of Master Shake. Trying to discuss drum solos and cinematic bombastic achievements (his words) can prove very difficult while squatting. Oh, and while having muted porn playing next to your head. "That was pretty much almost immediately dismissed, Snyder said of the film's first-draft screenplay, featuring an 80-minute drum solo by Master Shake and a few seconds of dialogue. "But I still have the script and I am pushing for prequel that will tie up all the loose ends at the beginning of the movie." Such "cinematic masterpieces" all star Shake in different cities: Shakin' Up Hollywood, for example, or Dallas Shakedown and Key West Love. (Please note The Reeler is fairly certain he was joking.)

To say it was the most awkward conversation ever is untrue as we both agreed walking out together would be a humbling Hollywood moment. As Willis put it in his parting words from earlier in the night: "Nothing means anything, man. But at the same time, it all matters -- none of this matters."

Posted at April 11, 2007 11:02 AM