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The Reeler Blog

Oscar Liveblog Addendum: The Conservatives Take the Floor

Just as all things are seemingly permissible on the Web, so its oversights are redressable as well. Both factors arise here today as the eagle-eyes at ScreenGrab refer us to the stunning Oscar liveblog at the right-wing film journal Libertas. How I could have missed this in my selection phase of The Reeler's Annual Oscar Liveblog Review is anybody's guess, but in the spirit of better late than never (and even then, still not that good), I thought the minute-by-minute musings might be worth a look:


Blogger: "Dirty Harry"

General Tone: Contrarian one-liners with liberal -- er, generous -- supplies of ammo dedicated to easy targets, resulting in awe-inspiring failures of imagination like, "I haven’t heard this many accents since I went to the post office." Recurring John Wayne/Mel Gibson themes patronize a utopian red-state nostalgia that today's Oscars clearly betray.

Perceptive Highlight of the Evening:
Between "Jennifer Hudson needs to wail a lyric like, 'Got me an Oscar! Skinny ho next to me don’t!' " and, "Two Oscars for Pan’s Labyrinth. One more person wins with one of these: (’) over a letter in their last name and I’m calling immigration," really, it's just too close to call.

Moment Readers First Contemplated Suicide: Even conservatives' eyes likely rolled back in their heads at 8:06 with the post: "Penelope’s all 'Check me out Tommaso Cruise — You are to be checking out what you gave up for tramp Katie who is home with her butt as big as house glued to couch.' " Actually, give my love to my family -- I am killing myself.

Best Reader Comment: "Ellen ain’t making my shorts animated." (Contributed by "Buck Turgidson")

Come Back in '08? As it would be for any circle jerk, diversity is an important factor in the culture of Oscar liveblogs. There is only so much urbane commie rambling and handicapped-stall onanism an awards enthusiast should take without a cheap shot of Libertas' gay-baiting xenophobia (especially as presented in eye-thrashing white-on-black typeface) -- the saltier the better. Additionally, the election year 2008 promises more sonorous political cries from the despised Hollywood elite, thus guaranteeing readers a night of bile cocktails on the house. And if Stephen Colbert were to replace Ellen DeGeneres? Full-blown culture war. I am virtually counting the minutes.

Posted at February 28, 2007 4:27 PM

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