The News: I Quit

By S.T. VanAirsdale

Some of today's movie news of note from around New York:

--Or, rather, what passes for movie news: Browsing my RSS feeds this morning, I counted no fewer than 24 separate reports of Barbra Streisand endorsing Hillary Clinton for the Democratic presidential nomination. I report this not to contribute to the problem, or to follow in lockstep with mainstream media, but rather as a self-exhortation to have the courage to get my entire head in front of the shotgun I plan to buy later today with the remainder of my news budget. Thank you for reading; remember the good times.

--What? It gets better? Jake Gyllenhaal will portray New York Jets legend Joe Namath in a forthcoming biopic? And the blogosphere is flatlining with the same predictable joke about Namath-evading sideline reporter Suzy Kolber? Fuck it; I'm self-immolating in a blaze you'll be able to see from every outer borough, then shooting myself.

--And there's more: The Writers Guild East welcomed Sen. John Edwards, Tim Robbins, Danny Glover and a full roster of publicity-whore all-stars to its Tuesday rally in Washington Square Park. Nikki Finke has pictures; I have a hose attached to my exhaust pipe.

--And finally, the apocalypse: A former DEA hotshot from New York says American Gangster got its facts wrong, and he has sent a letter to Universal's general counsel seeing redress. For example: No NYC cops ever shot Frank Lucas's dog, OK? Clear a space on the sidewalk; I'm coming down.

Posted at November 28, 2007 7:42 AM